The Values Lab

Building your own values mantra

Viren Thakrar Season 1 Episode 22

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0:00 | 9:28

In this episode, I explore how to put your values into action under pressure using mantras. I talk about where I first learned about mantras through sport psychology and self-talk, then walk through the live process of building one. I cover the guiding principles and share ideas for how to build your own one. 

The Values Lab is brought to you by Viren Thakrar, Founder of Values Map - valuesmap.com

SPEAKER_00

So, how do you put your values into action, especially when they come under a little bit of pressure? And that's what we're going to be talking about today in this episode focused on mantras. So, welcome to the Values Lab, a podcast series for founders and portfolio career professionals seeking inspiration to live a more values-led life. And I'm your host, Virin Tuckrah, founder of In the Game and Values Map. And today's episode was inspired by my chat with Jen. And on listening back to my chat, um, it was quite interesting how there were a couple of phrases that Jen came back to time and time again when it were when it was about, I guess, in a situation she could have made a decision one way or another. And one path was the, I would say, the easier decision, and the other path was the more values-aligned, growth-focused one. There were a couple of phrases she used. One of them was, what's the worst that can happen? Um, which I found quite amusing uh having grown up watching Dr. Pepper ads. Um and the other phrase she came back to is what's what's the one thing I'm going to learn from this? And so there are two phrases she came back to time and time again to kind of inspire her into values-aligned action. And for me, I consider both those kinds of phrases um what I'd consider to be mantras. And I I first learnt about mantras in the world world of uh sport psychology. So that was my uh background. I did my master's in sport and exercise psych. And mental skills is a big, big part of that. And one of the I guess most um important topics that we covered is self-talk because it's so so important. The what you say to yourself in your in your head as you're playing has a big impact on how you perform. Um often people exhibit a lot of negative self-talk. So we're in a situation we beat ourselves up for mistakes, and you can imagine that actually that negative self-talk doesn't lead to positive outcomes. At the same time, actually, lots of overly positive focused self-talk isn't necessarily productive either. What we ideally want to be doing is really quietening our mind and trying to access that flow state. And often what helps us do that is coming up with some simple mantras that when our head's buzzing, we've got these mantras that we can use that get us focused. And usually mantras are in the sports-like world, positive and action-focused. So, you know, I used to play a lot of soccer, and so if I find my mind was buzzing, I just simply go to my mantra, strike through the ball. And the whole strike through the ball thing was just about that the feeling that I love about soccer is when you hit a ball and you hit it really cleanly, you strike through it. And it was that it was just channeling that. Uh now I do a lot of running, and when I run, get into a spot when I'm feeling a bit of fatigue in my legs. I just have the phrase perpetual motion, and all of a sudden I'm focused on the motion of running and moving my arms, and that gets me through the fatigue. So very powerful from a sports like world, but also has a lot of power outside of that when we can come up with useful mantras that we can, you know, when we're at a juncture and we need to make a decision and we want to make a values-aligned decision, it's something we can come back to and it just quickly focuses us, and it's um works quite powerfully in tandem with your values. And from a practical perspective, you could have a mantra per value, or there might be a value that you're more focused on at the moment that you want to bring into your life, so you might build a mantra around that, whatever, whatever works for you. But what what I'll do now is I'll basically take you through the process of building your own mantra, what that can, what what it can look like, um, and hopefully it gives you a little bit of uh bit of an idea. So if you've got pen and paper handy, great. Um you can do this mentally, but it works much better when you can map some of this stuff down. And so what I'm gonna do, I'll I'll work through building up one for myself because I actually don't have one for one of my values, which is fun. So I'm gonna go through the process and talk you through some of the things I might consider. So, guiding principle here really is that it's focused on a value, it's positive, it's either action focused or it's it's something you can say to yourself to shift your mindset in the moment. That's the key. That's the key, that's what we're trying to get to. So it's going to be a little phrase and it's going to be quite short. It needs to be punchy and memorable. So what I wanted, I go with the paper, I'd start and I'd pop down the value in the in the middle. And then there's a couple of questions to start the brainstorming process. Uh the first question is what does it really like feel like when you're actually living this value? What's happening from an embodied perspective, you know? And if I'm focusing on fun, for me it's I'm laughing more. I actually feel mentally sharper. I love one of the things about fun, is I'm just um I feel like I'm on, and that feels really good. Uh, I find I'm smiling more. That's it's great. And I'm I'm in a more to like open toward state. Like I'm just seeing possibilities, seeing connections. So it feels really good. So the first question that is, yeah, what does it feel like when you're living it? The next question is think a little bit about what are the conditions that help lead to it. So in my case, I know things like music, changing my environment, trying something novel or taking a novel approach. Um these are all things that uh help me, if I need to get into that fun state, they help me get into that fun state. And then quite useful to look at is what are the barriers? What are the things that stop you from living the value? Now these could be thought barriers, it could be things that you think, um or it can be actual things in your environment or physical things. So I think uh from a things I think perspective, often the barrier from fun for me is like I think I need to be doing things efficiently. So I put and sometimes unnecessary time constraints in, and the efficient path often reduces all the things that I'd kind of consider fun. From an environment perspective, one of the blockers of fun for me is uh is my phone. So actually using my phone, whilst it gives me short hits of dopamine and quick hits of fun. It's not actually the meaningful, genuine fun that I that I seek. So now once you've got all of that, the the this part's a little bit of a ah and it takes some time. So it's not necessarily that you'll come up with something immediately. But essentially what you're trying to do is look at the what are some of the patterns there? So, you know, if I look at myself, the barriers are that that efficiency phone, I get pulled towards routine and doom scrolling. My drivers all point towards actually creating more variety and novelty in the environment, and that then pulls me to fun. So that that the mantra then is what can go and shift me from that barrier mode into values aligned mode. And so if I can brainstorm some ideas and I'm looking at that, you know, I could come up with a mantra like mix it up, Virin. You know, that's something I can clay to myself when I feel like I'm getting dragged into a routine, mix it up. It's a quick, short, sharp jolt that gets me to uh counter the efficiency routine side of things. Uh I could have something like throw my phone away. So it's like a very uh physical, and I'm not really gonna chuck my phone across the across the room. Um even riffing on famous mantras, like one of the best ones. You just I just it it's so good. Um you should just do it. It's such a good mantra. But actually, you know, if I just add a little bit of a fun tw twist on it, it could be just do it differently. And that's something I could take up. So there are a couple of options that I might then look to see. And I think with a lot of this is you've got to kind of sit on it, percolate on it, and you want that resonance, won't it? Kind of like you'll you'll know when you've got it, because like, ah yes, that that's perfect. Um, or perfect for me. And there's nothing to say, you can't, you know, sometimes there's quotes out there that we hear, we can adopt those as well. It doesn't need to be totally unique, so that's another angle. So I know for myself, um for a long while, especially when it comes to achievement and growth, you know, I'd done something as a perfect nothing, which really resonated with me. But actually, so that was co-opted from somewhere else, and now imperfect action is a phrase I heard. And now that's one of my mantras, imperfect action, when I'm kind of like hesitating, pausing. It's kind of that imperfect action. Another one I've got that I use is do it for the journey, and that came from um a video I saw with Dom Dollar was getting interviewed around the progress he's had. So he's a he's a DJ and producer, and he's always like, Look, I'll just love it. I'll just do it for the journey. I've I've always loved it. If I had an empty room and I was DJing in front of an empty room, that's fine. And now I do massive stadiums and it it's all it's all good. It's all been for the journey. So that's resonated with me. It's no accopted from other other places. So no harm in doing that as well. Doesn't have to be your own original words. If you want to start putting your values into action more, especially like in situations where you're in a time crunch, you're under pressure to make a decision and you're not sure. Like mantras are really powerful. They've, you know, as I say, the world from the world of sports like for me, and that's whether I learnt about them. But they're a really practical bridge from owning your values to living them under, under pressure. And I'd love if you build on out this week, I'd love to hear how you go and what you land on. Uh, because I'm always fascinated by the various mantras people come up with.